Tuesday, January 27, 2009

fucked up chinese new year

CHINESE NEW YEAR~

notice why i left out the word happy??? coz it was far from happy.

first, i lost my friggin ALDO SHOES. YES, i am so going to hell and i'm gonna be bringing the bastard who stole my friggin shoes down to hell with me!!!!!!!!

URGHHH~~~~~

secondly, i had to quarrel with mr horny. wait, it was not even a quarrel, but more of a cold war. haiz, i dun even know what to do with us now.

people please advice?

last day of school~~~!!!!

us girls trying to seduce sasi

dancerz inc~ modern ballet hip hop

class of E55A. love em..

chinese new year at granny's~

all ze girls of the family

brothers and sisters......

HELP! stalker guy outside my house since 4!!!! banging on my friggin door non-stop. had to stop jonathon from coming down or calling the police. shits......

love

chanel

♥ the last words are written at 10:15 PM

Thursday, January 22, 2009

mr horny's birthday

PROCRASTINATION: BIG TIME

been up to so many things lately (both emotionally and physically) that i have hardly time for myself!

went partyworld for karaoke just before the new year with Chloe! suppose to be in a humongous company but at the end its just us. oh well, its a date between me and chloe.

going back to Ettusais. thanks to lotsa psychoing on Chloe's part.

baby Leo is my lil' treasure~

Leo's personal seat on the way to grooming, on the DASHBOARD

locked up..........

mr horn's trapped under the car!! the twist is his sign for help -_-'''

love leo's paws after grooming!! kawaii neh~

Nam's version of mr horny, on a sausage mcmuffin

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QI~ 130109

me and eunice and our hard work!!!! taekwondo gals~

kayaking sea expedition!! uberly fun!! while other facilitators are treating their students to pizzas, we get seawater and seaweed.

nam peng you just can't keep himself outta the picture! grrrr.... RAWRR

group picture!! still waiting for the kayaking photos from yvonne. one of the most tiring days of my life. back home with body full of aches

and despite the aches, i had to make mr horny's strawberry cheesecake cake, which failed quite terribly =(

joanthon!!! sobs..... impart your skills of cake making to me pretty please~

sandy trying to look scary...

adam and sandy

CAM-WHORING. please excuse, its been a long time since i did this, and i wanted to catch a pic of my red hair!

the innocence presented is such a sham behind that facade

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MR HORNY~ 160109

shuai ge~~~ *blushes* and he belongs to me. same cliche birthday wish.. 21 le hor, gotta be more mature yea~

me and sandy as receptionist, free labour =(

don't mr horny look really natural with all that afro???

me and my band~~

happy birthday to you~~~~

mr horny's parents doing the famous 'chicken dance'

love,

chanel

ps: for those asking me about that stalker, yes, he still is calling me repeatedly, really getting on my nerves whenever i see his number on my screen. and no, i don't need people to send me home. i've got my baby to do that

♥ the last words are written at 11:36 AM

Friday, January 09, 2009

HEY FREAK, LOOK HERE

yes, you. i know you have been reading my blog for the longest time(almost 2 years, as you claim), does seem to know alot of my life, BUT YOU DON'T. so don't claim that you know me enough to love me. don't put it in your mind that i will accept you or go into a relationship with you. i HARDLY know you!

so what if you're not singaporean, rich,model, and have a good body. i hate desperados.

when a girl does not answer your call or return your messages, don't you get the idea??? or maybe you're just that dense behind those muscles and egoistic facade you have.

so why don't you do us all a favour and STOP HARASSING ME.

i've had enough of your endless calls, cynical messages and demeaning pursuit. i've had enough of your stalking, seeming knowing wherever i am or whatever i'm doing. if you think you're making an impression, you're so right! a bad impression that is.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE WHEREVER I GO. WHO I HANG OUT WITH IS TOTALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

SO STOP FOLLOWING ME!!

♥ the last words are written at 9:08 AM

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

enough with all the messed up things that started as soon as the new year started. i know i'm a lil too late, but, resolutions for the new year is always a tradition which needs holding up right?(even if i totally don't follow them)

quick recap on resolutions 2008
-more faith in my Daddy God
- spend more QUALITY time with family and friends
- love myself more than ever
- LESS PROCRASTINATING
- be more involved in class especially during MATHS AND SCIENCE
- reduce shopping expenses (if only)
- earn more ka-chings $$$$$
- be less forgetful- tone ABS......
- bike/car license (mr horny's gonna kill me)
- get islander card and UOB clear card
- try not to turn down modelling opportunities

did almost NONE, except for the fisrt 2 resolutions.

ANYWAY

resolutions 2009
- more faith in my Daddy God
- spend more QUALITY time with family and friends
- love myself more than ever
- LESS PROCRASTINATING
- get mood and emotions in check
- be a good gf (and meaning it)
- earn more $$$
- NO MORE heart breaks, more self-love
- watch CATS the musical
- tone abs (lifetime long resolution)
- car license!!
- start private blog; or maybe i should just stick to writing in a diary?

everything has come to pass. ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
just how long can i live with this??

♥ the last words are written at 10:35 AM

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

i don't know what i'm feeling now, but what i know is, i'm lost. i know i've never really develop feelings for him(j) to any extend.

i'm just really jealous.

which girl do not want to have that perfect relationship? which girl do not want her bf to be there for her? to feel loved and needed? to love and be loved?

mr horny,

if you're reading this, which i know you will, and may not be happy about it. but all these time, i feel like i'm on my own. although i have a bf, i don't feel anything that should come from a relationship. can you even remember the last time you said you miss me? the number of times you will actually call randomly? how bout the last time you called me 'sugar' or 'baby'?

you know i hardly ask you for anything, all i want is us to go back to how we used to be, contented with each other's company,before all this crap even started. i wanted to put all my feelings on you, during that period of time when you were so sweet, but just when i'm confident enough and opened my heart to you again, you've gotta go back being the 'you' that i hate, making me heart broken all over again.

you were the one who wanted to meet and also the one who decided against that.
you were the one who wanted to talk about what went wrong, but also the one who did not want to talk in the end.

i've tried to change, but why do you have to make things so difficult? i'm really tired of quarrelling, which i think you can see, so why can't we just for once try to make things work?

from the bottom of your heart, do you still want to be with me for a lifetime? if not, then why are you still wasting your time? please just tell me, i really want to know what you are thinking.

love,
chanel

ps: fecking ankle sprained, there goes my jog..
.
.
.
.
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pss: on second thoughts, i think it should still be on! helps me take my mind of things.

♥ the last words are written at 12:00 PM

Monday, January 05, 2009

torn..

seriously, i'm torn.

J asked me: 'what will be the perfect proposal'

i'm so regretting teaching him how to woo that girl. now, he's living my fantasies of the perfect boyfriend to another girl. random calls in the afternoon just to say how much he misses her, buying her dresses on occasions, just being there for her when she needs him, and so on....

i know i should be feeling happy for him, but it seems like a part of me is torn away. he has always been there for me, looking out for my welfare and my family's. i know i have been very unfair to him, but yet, he somehow made me think that he will always be there. like his feelings for me will never change even if Angelina Jolie wanted to be with him.

i know its very selfish of me to think that way and i should'nt be envious since i'm always the one turning him down. but i don't know why i started crying over the phone.

something he said really touched me, when i asked why is it that he is willing to spend every cent on a girl he likes(judging from the watch incident, and he recently spent $300 plus just to get a couple ring((as per my idea)) from Lee Hwa((NOT my idea)).

he said:
if you love someone with all your heart, you just want to give that person the best of everything. what is money? it's just something which can be spent and earned back again. but to earn the heart of someone, that means so much more that just money. you can spent an entire lifetime saving every pennny, but in the end, its from the satisfaction of seeing the smile on her face that makes it all worth while.

word for word, no paraphrasing. and to think i cried while he said those words.

he told me he did not regret waiting for me, although he felt really heartbroken and lost each time i rejected him. despite it all, in the end, he will be there for me whenever i need a shoulder to cry on. and to think that he believes things between me and shaun will have a good ending if we just hold on together.

why now?? at this circumstances??? if shaun and i were back how we used to be, i would have gladly congratulated him. but now, i can't help being so jealous.....

i'm tired of our really petty quarrels, but that seems to be what's revolving around us. even if we're not quarrelling, and even if we're seating nest to each other, there's nothing to talk about. like there's a wall of silence seperating the both of us, keeping each of us in our own little mind, thinking what should we say next. is that the effect of a long-term relationship?? and to think people will think otherwise.

i no longer feel like he loves me, and we're together just for the sake of once being passionately in love.....

ps: nauseus headache came back, not sure if its my aneamia acting up.. cramping like mad, think i'll jog it off later.

pss: i know this is not the right time, but i feel like i'm falling, in and out.