Friday, March 16, 2007

pissed off by my own dear

well, i'm pissed off with dear again, with a reason i oso do not know myself. from what have happened the past few weeks, i found myself an emotional wreck.

i went all the way to dear's house yesterday just to find him, since he was on mc from army,without his knowing. the whole day was quite alright,with dear keep shouting at me while playing maple. man, i'm starting to hate that game. dear kept insisting that he isn't addicted to the game, but well, it is quite obvious actually. he cannot even keep himself from the computer for even 15 mins. well, i even have some time to read.

well, that is not the problem, or maybe it is. i'm not very sure myself. it started when we were in the car on the way home. dear kept trying to call someone on the phone,seemingly very desperate, leaving me lots of time to think. i was, well, reflecting, on how fruitful the whole day was and i found out, for the whole day, for 9 hours, at dear's house was playing maple. not my idea of fruitful.

i'm the kind of girl, even if we cannot go out, we can just stay home and cuddle each other to watch tv or vcds. even if there's nothin to watch, just talking to each other will be fine. well, after all, its still quality time well spent.if we just played maple for the whole day, i might as well save on the transport fee and just stay home to play maple? dear call it quality time, but hello? we're all in our own fantasy world while playing maple.

it just seems that we cannot even talk if we're beside each other unless we're on the phone. maybe, if fate really allows, we get married and maybe, i can just call him on the phone and just talk, knowing full well he's right beside me.

well, we're on a cold war now.

love
chanel

♥ the last words are written at 11:31 AM

Sunday, March 11, 2007

haiz..i should just end my life

i know, its been almost a month since i've blogged. but lately, i've been in a emotional roller-coaster. i dunno. maybe i'm not as strong as i thought i am, but, yes, i am.

i'm sure most of the o level students are not happy and proud about their results. hi, i'm one of you guys. for those who did extremely well, well, you should just get off with life and stop being a pain in the neck. i am quite sure this is the startin of this roller-coaster. yea, a roller-coaster tat got cut halfway at its tracks.

question. did anybody in this world ever gotten backstabbed by anyone?yes? how about by one of your parent? forget bout those whose parents sold their own children into slavery. yes? now,how bout being backstabbed by both parents? well, it just happened to me. am i suppose to be proud of it? i wonder. i don't really give a damn if you're not close to me. but my own parents?? how would YOU feel if you've just got a kiss on each cheek by your parents and they just turn around to bite you on your freakin ass??

really, i just want all of this to end. where's dear when i need him,at a time like this? its not as if i blame him or anything, but i just want him to just be by my side right now. haiz.

maybe i'll just curl up and die.

love
chanel